Posted on: August 23, 2022 Posted by: admin Comments: 0

“We need to heal ourselves before we start wishing to heal someone else,” said Master Minh Niem.

In the framework of a talk on the occasion of the 2566 season of the Buddha calendar (solar calendar 2022) at Dieu General Am (Hanoi) on the afternoon of August 7, Master Minh Niem, the author of “Understanding the heart”, “Doing like a game ”, had sincere and close sharing about the hurt, how to recognize, accept and transform them, to heal themselves and others.

Master Minh Niem – who spends a lot of time practicing meditation and studying psychological issues, pointed out that we humans, no matter what field we are working in, need to spend some time alone. Practice observing and relaxing yourself.

“We need to heal ourselves before we generate the desire to heal another individual. I have to know how to love my own home, know how to take care of it, then I know how to do the same for others,” he emphasized.

Master Minh Niem. Photo: Dieu General Am

Here are the sharing of Master Minh Niem:

Dissatisfaction is a gift

People who have been traumatized often attract people with similar pain and trauma.

Consider psychological trauma, or any pain, unwelcome, obstacle to our way back inside, as a gift. Acknowledging and accepting these things with a respectful, positive attitude like when we receive a gift we love, means we are closer to self-healing, which means we have gradually transformed Turn the negative energy in us into more positive.

To face and see what is not satisfactory in you as a gift, you need to learn to separate from those dissatisfaction. Instead of identifying them as we are, you need to slowly observe them, how they come, manifest and their desire to disturb.

Every time an unsatisfactory thought appears, don’t rush to believe what you see, stay calm, look at it as a different individual and find a different direction for yourself instead of following what will happen according to the unsatisfactory. that mean. Gradually you will not have to spend a lot of energy because you are constantly chasing those unsatisfactory things anymore, on the other hand, you will be able to self-regulate your behavior. That is living mindfully.

Hurt children

A person who suffers from psychological trauma mostly comes from a traumatized childhood due to the behavior of his family, the closest and most loving people.

We need to understand that a child is born with more or less the genetic set of his parents. It can be a dominant gene with good qualities, or a recessive gene with the worst aspects of a parent, or paternal ancestry.

Picture of Master Minh Niem talking on the afternoon of August 7 in Hanoi.  Photo: Dieu General Am

Picture of Master Minh Niem talking on the afternoon of August 7 in Hanoi. Photo: Dieu General Am

Such a child, in the early stages of life, presents a lot of difficulties, sometimes with mental disabilities. Above all, we need to understand that the child who has bad things in his personality is a very pitiful child.

Every parent needs to be aware that each child is not born to serve the “wants” of the parent, so that the parents can rest assured. Every living being that comes to life has its own life and like Buddhist theory, each person has a different and individual predestined – karma.

What we see in a child is actually only a very small part of what we see. Therefore, what parents need to do is not force their children to follow the principles they think are right, or force them to do what they want, but should understand that children need us to help them live in the world. the best environment, for the most favorable development.

Another fact shows that stubborn children who are not easily obedient to adults are often children with strong personalities, develop faster and are much more successful than children who only obey. Children who are obedient and obedient, often show weakness in adulthood and find it difficult to overcome obstacles on their own.

'Help your child calm down, instead of denial and punishment, that's how you heal him'.  Photo: Dieu General Am

“Help your child to calm down, instead of denial and punishment, that’s how you heal your child.” Photo: Dieu General Am

Thus, the fact that parents most want their children to become “a good child”, denying their strong qualities and good virtues, sometimes unintentionally creating deep wounds, following their children to the end. when the child is an adult.

Believe it or not, the parent also partly suffered psychological damage, more or less, from family members. Therefore, parents need to ask themselves the question of what they should do to help their children, instead of what they have to do to force their children to do as they please. You know, a disobedient child is a child with psychological problems, they can’t regulate themselves and they need their parents’ help.

Help your child to be more calm, instead of denial and punishment, it is a way for you to heal your child, also to heal your childhood mental losses and learn to be patient with yourself.

Luu Dinh Long

Source: Vietnamnet


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