In a husband and wife relationship or a relationship between members of a democratic society, how do we understand the other’s point of view? As a leader, what unique communication qualities do you need?
Everyone has the habit of thinking that they are doing everything right, always defending their own opinions, this is also the similarity of sentient beings.
We must recognize that all sentient beings have different appearances and minds, not only in appearance but also in different ways of thinking, thinking, and viewpoint. I often stand on the stance of “no-self” that treats others and solves work, selflessness does not mean letting go of oneself, but rather tolerance towards others; it is not tolerance based on self-centered views at all, but tolerance based on everyone’s point of view, and transforms into no-self. In other words, no-self is the permission to exist of any point of view or phenomenon, and the understanding that any old point of view can be changed, or that any new phenomenon can be changed. can happen, just like each wave that constantly crashes on the Truong Giang River. Previously recognized truths are likely to be replaced by today’s new truths; A newly born law can also be replaced by another law in the future.
The wheel of the times is constantly moving forward, any point of view will eventually be replaced by another new point of view, or any view that emerges must have its cause and effect. but one day it will be forgotten and continue until a new one appears. For example, Dong Chinh with his ecstatic acting when he debuted on stage, after he backed up, a series of other actors also appeared one after another, and the truth is that there is no definite role completely. on stage or off stage.
But that role is intertwined, sometimes above and sometimes below the stage, unpredictable changes, nothing can exist independently forever, only the combination of fate, here It is the Selflessness that we are talking about.
Principle of market discrimination
All that a tolerant whole is in is often called the Great Self or the collective, it does not exist permanently or forever. Leaving aside the ego, there is no small self, nor a great self, that is no-self. But the so-called great self in a whole is part of the process of forming the no-self, such as the recognition of right and wrong in a husband and wife relationship. Preserving and protecting the family is a great principle of a whole, which is also the principle of “common right, common wrong” that we are talking about. Once the completeness and unity of a family is violated, it is the disparities of a personal and private nature; Both sides think they are right, arguing non-stop, if so, there is no way to protect that family’s happiness anymore.
Tolerance is the premise to understand each other
The only way to save that risk of disintegration is to rely on compromise and sincere communication between the two sides. When you feel that your opinion is the best, most appropriate, but the other half does not agree, you should step back and wait for the next opportunity. The application of the first level of the principle of “general right, common wrong” is also one of the ways to solve the problem. The collective has its own “general right, common wrong” principle, the company has its own “general right, common wrong” principle, the country has its own “general right, common wrong” principle. Even the world has the principle of “common right, common wrong” of the whole world.
Only the person who can tolerate ordinary people can become a leader of today or in the future in a stable and persistent way. If not just a moment of jubilation, it will be like a comet in the sky, shining brightly, but will gradually disappear into space.
HT. Thich Thanh Nghiem