Forgiving those who have hurt you is not an easy thing to do, because the complex emotions you are enduring are deeply rooted.
An old love broke your heart. Your sibling has criticized your parenting skills. A friend has betrayed you. Forgive those who have hurt you, is not an easy thing, because the complex emotions you are enduring are deeply rooted. However, no matter what, forgiveness is the best choice, not to help others, but to help yourself.
Author and theologian Lewis B.Smedes said, “Forgiveness means we release a person from prison, and to our surprise, find ourselves in this prisoner.”
How do you forgive?
The following five suggestions can help free our mind from prison:
1. Think carefully about the situation:
When someone hurts you, it’s important to take some time to reflect and to identify specifically what they did that offended you. You can even try a relaxation technique, like taking a deep breath, or meditating, to help you think more clearly. It’s hard to accept forgiveness when you’re focusing on the results of the emotional whirlwind, not the other person’s actions.
2. The goal is that your mind is at peace, even if there is no reconciliation:
The main goal of forgiveness, is to help your mind have more peace in life. You can come to terms with the person who hurt you, or not. However, forgiveness is still possible, even without consent, or without mutual improvement. “You know that forgiveness has begun, when you remember those who hurt you, and then you fervently pray for them to be forgiven. peaceful”Mr. Smedes said.
3. Remember, the only thing you can change is you:
No matter how hard you try, or how much you want, you can’t change another person’s lifestyle or behavior. You can choose to accept the pain, because you allow the perpetrators to always be present in your mind, or you can move them out of your mind, by accepting forgiveness. .
4. Focus on the good:
Instead of recalling what happened in the past, make an effort to focus on the good things in your life. Immerse yourself in the love of family and friends, and appreciate the pleasures that life has to offer. When you do, it can help reduce your negative emotions, and give you a better view of the actions of others, from which you can more easily let go. what happened in the past, behind your back.
5. Try to forgive yourself:
Sometimes, we don’t need to go far, just look at ourselves in the mirror, to find the person who made us suffer. It is important for us to remember to put out the flames of anger about what we have said, or done (because we blame ourselves). Let’s say: “We deserve to be free, because we have given up on what happened in the past”.