Posted on: June 16, 2022 Posted by: admin Comments: 0

When children stumble, fail in life or fall into the mire of suffering, as parents, we must help them. But how should we help?

Master Thich Minh Niem

Things Parents Shouldn’t Do

First, we must be aware of what parents should not do. It is becoming a judge to judge and accuse your child.

The children do not need us to identify what crime they are committing, what kind of person they are… Children need a protective attitude from their parents in times of weakness and suffering.

Parents Also, don’t because you love your child so much that you can’t control your anger and frustration when you see your child stumble or fail… Because those negative emotions will make you lose confidence in yourself, no more will to overcome.

Parents should not show grief, pity, or cry. Doing so only makes me more discouraged, more willing to let go, stuck deeper into the mire of suffering.

Next, we should not force children to do what they are not comfortable with, not natural, not ready to do. This will rekindle the wounds your child is trying to heal.

We also shouldn’t set deadlines as to how long it takes for a child to heal, to get over it, to settle down, to get up… Parents don’t shout slogans like: “You’re such a great kid. strong, you can’t be like that”, “parents can’t accept such a weak child”….

‘Apologize because parents who do not know how to master dare to give birth to children’

These sayings, this way of saying only make the child feel more ashamed before his parents, feel that he is not worthy, does not belong to the family.

Parents should not consider themselves to be professional healers, even though there are particularly important factors that healers do not possess, which is boundless love for their children.

Parents do not have much expertise to be able to understand all the psychological nooks and crannies of their children. And parents also do not have enough therapies to help their children fully heal.

With their love, parents can soothe or partially help their child heal. But if you want to heal all, you must rely on your own efforts, even need the help of professional healers.

Things Parents Should Do

Parents have to be humble, don’t be overconfident and assume that we’ve done it and you’ll be healed, you’ll have to get over it. Instead, parents should accompany their children so that no matter how much the wound heals, parents will be happy with their children.

Parents also have to learn to step back, be quiet, and listen to their children lament. At that time, parents must listen deeply, listen with all their heart to understand the pain and suffering of their children. Listening deeply like this will give your child the feeling of being respected by their parents.

In addition, every time I feel unsettled, I feel angry… Parents should not approach their children, should not say a word. Otherwise, parents only activate the child’s wound, inviting negative energies in the child to rise. This will make the child afraid, panic.

Master Minh Niem believes that helping children overcome difficulties and suffering is also a process by which parents learn to become true and complete fathers and mothers.

Master Minh Niem believes that helping children overcome difficulties and suffering is also a process by which parents learn to become true and complete fathers and mothers.

Parents must practice saying loving words, supportive words, saying good and good things about their children. Parents need to speak out their children’s values ​​in their eyes to remind them that they not only have mistakes and failures…

On the contrary, children are still the most beautiful things that parents have ever known. This is very important. It helps me not to identify with the wound, with the suffering, with the failure to return to the good whole.

Parents can awaken in their children good values, positive values ​​by creating programs that are suitable for their children’s abilities in each stage. We can go out with our children to bike, picnic, camp, swim…

Or we can create sessions tea meditation to sit together in warmth, sincerity. This is the time when parents and children listen to each other. Parents can share their own experiences of overcoming pain, but please share without being forced, not dogmatic, not a moral lecture.

In such sessions, parents talk about their own weaknesses and failures in the past so that their children can see themselves closer and closer to reality. In this way, children will open their hearts and absorb them very quickly. When I see someone close to me, really accompanying me and sharing with me, I will have more faith and strength to overcome difficulties.

But there are times when we feel that there is no other way to help our child. At times like these, parents should sit still, keep their own stability, take care of their negative emotions, and worry less about their children.

Parents, please do so that you can sit very still, very relaxed, gently, always have an energetic smile on your lips, always radiating peace. This is also a way to help your child.

Because, even though there is no direct contact, the amount of peace of the parents can go to the child anytime the child connects with the parents. At that time, parents are still a safe and precious fulcrum for their children.

Master Minh Niem: Parents, please step back and accept your children with love

When the child’s condition is too severe, parents should seek help from someone, a professional healer for help, rather than insisting that only parents can help their child.

We should remember the principle of helping but not helping. That is while helping children, parents should not put their ego in there to show authority, force children to do this and that.

Parents should not take advantage of when their children are weak, make mistakes, or make mistakes to manipulate and lead their children according to their intentions. We also do not rely on the sincerity and earnestness of our children to help us without being able to control our emotions and controlling personalities.

Parents also do not get stuck in helping their children but must remember that we are a solid mountain for their children to rely on. During the process of helping children, parents still have to keep a balance with other emotional relationships, with other children, with work, with life.

Parents, don’t get too involved, don’t get too involved, but forget to take root in life and then be deeply affected by your child’s negative and toxic energies, even becoming your child’s victim.

When we help our children overcome difficulties, suffering is also the process we learn to become true and complete parents. Because, in the process of helping their children, parents will also realize their own weaknesses and difficulties to self-adjust and transform.

Master Thich Minh Niem

(Excerpt from Radio Help me into life, number 5, I fell who lifted me)


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