Posted on: June 25, 2022 Posted by: admin Comments: 0


We must admit that loving is one of the hardest things in the world.

Loving how to make the loved one feel happy, supported, shared, guided is extremely difficult. Because we are not perfect, there are still many weaknesses and difficulties attend the stadium, hot-tempered, hasty… and the heart is not open yet. Not to mention our energy also has from time to time, fluctuates continuously before the fluctuations of life. It is difficult for us to maintain the form of an adult leading a young child.

We also have to admit that we always have deep inner turmoil, wounds from life pressure, from the love story of marriage and family. Things that can happen in the past such as: being abused, not loved enough, discriminated against… have left us with deep wounds.

Sometimes we also have to admit that we were victims of one or more previous generations. Of course, from the previous generation we also learn good things, but we can also absorb their weaknesses, difficulties, limitations, follow them. And from there, we tend to ooze out toxic energies to the people around us, especially those close to us and under our influence.

Master Minh Niem

I admit that I have not had much happiness and still have a lot of pain. We have not found the path to true happiness so it is difficult to show our children the right path to go in life. We also admit that we have not created a safe environment for our children.

Your child’s deterioration, degradation, and mistakes may be because his living environment has too many pitfalls, many sources of unhealthy energy, and destroys the soul. Meanwhile, parents are too busy, stressed and tired to design the best ecosystem for their children in their own home. Children who lack warmth, harmony, and joy can hardly develop steadily.

We also acknowledge that we are not educators or coaches and have not been through any school. We just instinctively follow what we learned from the previous generation, from observing our surroundings and reading more books how to approach and understand children. But it seems that we also do not understand much about what is going on in the minds of children in this age. Because we are still many decades away from those children.

We also have to admit that we do not really understand our children or understand very little. In that limited understanding, I unintentionally hurt you. Your desires, expectations, impositions, and even reactions to what you do are different from your expectations and regulations that hurt you.

We have to admit that our relationship with our children is difficult. Children seem to be far away from their parents. Sometimes I want to leave the family as soon as possible.

Even though I know that you love me too parents But I’m also angry about many things. I love you, but I also don’t want to be near you because I don’t get much nurturing from my parents. Therefore, parents need to have heart-to-heart sessions with their children.

Parents should admit to their children that they still have many difficulties, limitations and are not perfect. Parents need to talk to their children so that they can understand the difficulties and sufferings of parents, sometimes too much. Speak to your child to understand and sympathize and do not blame or fight back.

Through that, let’s help children see an overall picture of their parents. Although parents have difficult limitations, parents also have a lot of values ​​and always want to pass that value on to their children. Hopefully, if you can, you can see both. Even more wonderful, please pay attention to the beauty, the great values ​​that your parents have given you. Bad things, limitations, please help parents change. Remind your parents that they are identifying themselves with those weaknesses.

Children, help parents change, remind parents, wake them up when parents tend to show control, express anger, want to attack and oppress children. Children should remember that this is not the entire parentage. It’s just a phenomenon and it’s up to parents to keep it under control.

Parents must change their attitude towards their children. Instead of always being arrogant, proud of being a great monument, a shining example for your children, be humble. Parents should be aware that even though they are the superiors of their children, they still have many limitations and have hurt their children. Instead of seeing your child as a child to be obeyed, see him as a magical living being that is not inferior to his parents.

In children there are many precious seeds that parents do not have. Children can become a genius, nurturing many talents that parents may not have known. Therefore, parents need to have respect for their children, often listen to understand their children instead of imposing them. Approach your child as a “big friend” rather than a superior so that it is easier to make comments about right and wrong, so that it is not easy to vent or suppress your child.

When parents change their attitude like this, children will respect, trust and love their parents more.

When parents are aware that they have gone through a period of instability and hurt their children, parents should return to take care of themselves and renew their “mind garden”. In which parents learn to stop to stay deeply in the present, to connect deeply with themselves, to have relaxation, peace.

From there, parents will practice listening to themselves, listening to their sufferings and pains, deep wounds and even their own desires and aspirations for their children. Then parents reconsider whether those wishes are really right, necessary and suitable for their children. Parents must see if their children have such thoughts, agree to that request.

In that deep listening and understanding, parents will learn to gradually give up clinging and manipulating their children’s lives. Parents give birth to a child, but that does not mean that the parent will own the child. Parents also want to be free, parents must also respect the freedom of their children.

“There is neither coming nor going, neither before nor after. I will hold your hand tight.” Parents will hold their children tightly in their hearts to cherish and cherish because in the past parents used to rush outside to grasp too many things, worry about fighting for a living that their parents did. I wasn’t always there for you, but we will release you so you can grow up naturally as you ancestors, not just children of parents.

Children have a unique identity that is themselves, parents are only supportive and guiding people. Parents realize that the child is always in the parent and the parent is always in the child. Therefore, parents do not need to force their children to stay with their parents for the rest of their lives, do not necessarily force their children to become this person or do that for their parents to be satisfied. If parents can live their parents’ lives, they also want their children to live their children’s lives brilliantly.

Think of parents as your child’s best friend, then you will have freedom. When parents have freedom, parents will have peace, happiness, love with very little or no conditions. Then, surely the children will also be happy.

If they have already hurt their children, parents must let go of their egos, lower their egos, and put aside their pride. Let’s think of him because he is in need of help. It’s my child, if I don’t help, who will? Helping children is not necessarily rushing to do this and that, to teach ethics. “Vocabulary” is unlikely to be successful because I have heard it a lot. Children need to be guided and transmit energy from their parents.

So parents should be the ones who inspire their children. At this time, parents need to return to create peaceful energy. Sometimes parents don’t need to do anything, just sit still and send their children the energy of peace, love and faith. Then when you feel that, you will be able to heal yourself. When the child is weak, reach out your hand, parents take it to see what the child needs.

Sometimes parents need to consult with their children that they want them so that they can choose, and advise them to try to follow the parent’s way. Do not impose, do not force your child to be free even if his decision is wrong. That stumbling block is also a valuable lesson to help me look deeper into the nature of life and understand my strength better.

When parents hurt their children, apologize to them, start the journey of change with them. Parents have to change their attitude towards their children, change the way they are living to live more deeply, calmly and with quality.

There comes a time when we ask our children a question that “what do you want most from you” the answer will probably be, I just want you to be safe, happy, not to worry about anything. for you, no need to interfere in your life. Parents just need to send love to their children is enough. When I am exhausted, I will turn to my parents to rely on.

If parents always maintain peace and security, then surely their children will be fine and happy. There is no need to worry too much about your children and turn it into a negative thing, hurting your children.

Master Minh Niem

(Excerpt from Radio Nurturing Children in Life: Who hurt you the most?)

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